


Consideration 8

by Grey (grey853)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Series: Consideration, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 04:29:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey853/pseuds/Grey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim shares his own feelings of frustration about Blair's condition after a brief argument.  Then the guys make up.<br/>This story is a sequel to Consideration 7.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Consideration 8

## Consideration 8

by Grey

Author's webpage: <http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dimension/3837/index2.html>

Disclaimer: These guys aren't mine, because if they were they'd be making it for all the world to see, which would please me no end, especially the part where all the homophobic folks who piss me off the most would fall over dead from faint hearts. 

Notes: 1--If you haven't read the rest of the series, you need to know a few things for this to make sense. In Chapter 2, Blair suffered a serious brain injury that left him with Post-traumatic Seizure Disorder. His recovery and adjustment have been fraught with complications. In another episode he and Jim make a deal that if Blair will continue taking his medication, which he hates, Jim will make the sacrifice of being his guppy's love slave, any time, any place. I hope that explains the stash of love stuff between the cushions. 

2--One of these days, I will finish this series, but it's not happening yet. After all, you wouldn't believe all the things you can find out in medical journals. Poor Blair. Poor Jim. Evil Grey. 

* * *

"Oh, man, this is like so utterly humiliating." A pillow flew a Kamikaze mission across the bedroom, tumbling down the stairs without a chance of rescue. Blair Sandburg rolled out of bed and stormed down behind it, the veins throbbing in his head. 

"Chief, come back here." 

"No way, man. Just leave me alone." 

"Shit." Jim Ellison lay on his back, arm up over his eyes thinking about the awful changes his partner and lover had been through over the last few months, and now this. What a truly shitty cosmic joke. 

He knew to tread lightly through the mine field Blair had scattered around himself or they'd both get blown away by the emotional blast. Taking a deep, calming breath, he sat up and pulled on his boxers before heading downstairs to talk sense into his best friend. 

Blair stood by the window, his forehead pushed against the chill of the glass. The blue silk robe Jim gave him months earlier clung to his compact body like drifting smoke. His arms folded tightly across his chest, he rocked there, a low moan at the back of his throat. The anguished sound chiseled and flaked the bones near Jim's heart. 

"Chief, it's okay, man." Moving closer, but careful not to touch, Jim spoke softly. "Come on back to bed. Let me hold you. We'll get through this, I promise." 

"What's the point, Jim? I mean, you might as well snuggle up to the air, man." 

"That's crazy, Chief." 

Swinging around, Blair's anger flushed his cheeks even more. "Oh, now I'm crazy, too? Way to go, Jim. I feel a whole lot better now." 

"Listen, Blair, I didn't mean it like that. It's just I'm not sure what to say here." 

Blair pushed past his lover and dropped down to the couch. "Yeah, I know. Me, either. It's just too much, man." 

Sitting beside him, Jim sat close, his hand on the back of the sofa. "We'll call the doctor in the morning and maybe she can try something else." 

"Well, hell, Jim, how many more times to I get to play fuck with Blair here? Oh, excuse me, that can't be right because Blair can't fuck worth shit anymore." The tight words hissed through the air, sharp daggers thrown almost too fast to see. 

"It's just another side effect, Chief. The doctor said it might happen when you changed meds this last time." 

Blair let his head fall back and bit his lip before he finally struggled to form words. "I know, man, but it's like so weird. I see you there all hard and dripping and I want be hard right along with you." 

The words choked, battled to stay unformed. He swallowed several times before he finally spoke. "But nothing happens, Jim. It's like my dick isn't even there. Not the slightest twinge or tingle." 

Jim heard the heart beat racing and the breathing increase as distress punished Blair's usually smooth face. "But it's not numb. I mean you can feel it, right?" 

"Yeah, I can feel it for all the good it does. It's just that it won't react. I don't even get hard in the morning anymore." 

"I know. I noticed that." 

"I bet you did." 

"I didn't mean it like that. Damn, Chief. This isn't my fault. Besides, it's not the end of the world." 

"That's easy for you to say, Jim. You're not the one who's dickless here." 

"But I'm the one who's fuckless, Chief." The words launched angry into his lover's face before he could stop them. Almost as soon as he'd spoken, he pulled back, shocked. "Oh, shit. I'm sorry. That was a stupid thing to say." 

Jaw clenched, Blair piercing blue eyes focused on Jim's. "That's harsh, man. And I'd be even more pissed if it weren't true. You are in this, too. You didn't sign on to take care of some brain-injured freak who can't even get up for you anymore." 

Jim stood abruptly, the frustration vibrating through his arms as he held up his hands in mock surrender. "I can't believe this conversation, Chief. You think I only want to be with you because you're a great fuck? Well, think again, my little guppy. You're swimming in my pool now, and I've got to tell you I'm a little weary of this self-pity routine." Blair started to break in, but Jim motioned to stop. "Don't speak yet. It's my turn now, okay?" 

"Okay." Despite his brain injury, Blair knew when to shut up. 

"I know it's been rough, and don't say I don't know what it's like. I understand that. There's no way I could really appreciate what it must be like to be brilliant and then all of a sudden be unable to remember how to get to my office or know what I've read by the time I get to the end of a page. How could I possibly know the frustration of not being able to speak right or understand what others are saying sometimes. There's no way I could ever understand how horrible it is to be doing something and then lose time, not have a clue about what just happened. And I sure don't know what it's like to wet the bed during a seizure or not be able to get it up when I'm lying next to somebody I love. I get it. It's a bitch okay. I'm not saying it's not." 

"Then what are you saying, Jim?" The spidery words fluttered against pale light. 

"I'm saying that I want to give you the flipside to that pity party you've been having with yourself. Imagine loving someone so much and having that person almost die from brain damage, his heart stopped with you standing there helpless, a different brand of impotence, my friend. Imagine seeing that person weep because he can't even get through the day without barfing his guts out every time he has to take the medicine that sometimes, but not always, keeps him from having a seizure that can rob him of memory and even his breath, seizures that cause his gorgeous body to betray him with the simplest functions. Nothing you do can change or stop it as you watch this person beat up on himself constantly over something he can't do a damn thing about. Worst of all, Chief, imagine trying to be there to support the most important person in your life the best way you can and to have that same person reject you, tell you that he doesn't even want to let you touch him or hold him anymore. Chief, that's been my life now for months and I'm here to tell you that the pity fest has to end. We've got to do something to change what we can. I can't stand much more of this." 

Tears welled up in a wash of blue. "Jesus, man, I'm sorry. Why am I so stupid?" Falling forward, Blair curled up his knees and rubbed his face into the pillow. Shoulders shaking, he muffled his cries into the fabric, gagging on his own breath. A bare hint of words reached sentinel ears. "Don't leave me, Jim." 

Sitting back down beside his lover, Jim reached over and despite the slight flinch, pulled him into his arms. He lifted an angel's face and whispered softly. "Never." A kiss on his guide's tortured lips sealed the oath. 

Cradling his lover's head on his chest, he rubbed his back and rested his chin on the top of dark curls. Rocking gently, he let Blair's tears slick his bare chest and waited until the trembling stopped. After several minutes and several hushed songs, Jim murmured, "Better?" 

"I hate this, Jim. It's not fair. I want my life back. I know I've been a real shit lately. I'm sorry, but it's like some gibbering idiot has jumped in and possessed my body, man. It's like it's not even me inside here anymore." 

"Come on, Blair. You're exaggerating here." 

"No, really. I don't think the same and I sure as hell don't feel things the same. I can't keep going like this, man. It's too much." 

Freezing still, Jim pulled back and used a hand to lift Blair's chin. "Say that again, Chief, and we're going to have a real problem here." 

Blair jerked his head back and moved away. Scooting to the other edge of the sofa, he tucked his legs under him and crossed his arms defiantly. "I mean it, Jim. I'm making some changes." 

Seriously worried, Jim leaned forward, bracing his arms. "You're losing me big time on this one. Tell me what the hell you're talking about." 

"I'm talking about pitching the pills, man. What did you think I meant?" Blair finally registered the fear in his lover's eyes. "Oh, man, I'm really an asshole. I didn't mean I was going to kill myself or anything that truly stupid. Come on, man. I'm not that far gone." 

Relief flooded his whole body, but then tension gripped him almost immediately. "It's hard to tell lately, Chief. But we have to talk about the pill pitching plan." 

"No, we don't, Jim. I've had enough. You gave as good an account as any just now by listing down what we've both been through with this shit. I've done everything but what I should've done in the first place. I've already stopped the medication a couple of days ago." 

"Without talking to me first? Blair, we've been through this before. What about our deal?" 

"I'm sorry, man, but since I'm not much up to fucking, the deal's off." 

Jim shook his head, totally confused, unsure whether to be angry or relieved that the decision no longer included him. 

"Listen, Jim, if the seizures happen, they happen. I mean, I'm having them anyway, plus all this other stuff, right? So, why not try it and see if I can at least clear my head?" 

Reluctantly, Jim nodded. "I hear what you're saying, Chief. I'm just afraid of what might happen. This seizure thing is seriously scary shit." 

"Tell me about it." Tilting his head, his face suddenly more relaxed and open, Blair shifted up on his knees and crawled over to sit in is lover's lap, straddling the broad crotch bare-bottomed. He wrapped his arms tightly around him and nuzzled his face against heated flesh. "I want to make love to you, Jim. I want to fuck you into Friday and every other day after that. What's the risk of a little seizure compared to that?" 

Jim's breathing squeezed through constricted lungs. The arousing whiff of Blair's skin so close to his own lightened his brain and thickened his balls and cock to starved beasts. His whole body sizzled with the erotic and completely overwhelming sense of his guide. 

Blair did a little lift up and glanced down. "Show off." 

Suddenly ravenous, Jim grabbed the younger man and pulled him closer, his hand behind the head to hold him still. His tongue darted out to lick across lush lips and then plowed into the wet heat of Blair's mouth. Teeth and gums pressed back, slicked and smooth as he glided further in. Breathing became secondary, unimportant. He captured the other tongue, swirled it, wrestled and conquered it there in its own kingdom. Proud and arrogant, he pulled back only to dive back for an ear, licking it, tasting the slightly bitter twist of gold as he lapped around the two earrings in the left ear. Rubbing bearded cheek against bearded cheek, he slid down the neck, biting and sucking, gently gnawing collarbone before switching across to the other salty side. 

Panting breaths stumbled into words. "Jesus, Jim, leave some skin, man." 

Growling into his neck, he spoke in a wicked hush. "You don't like it, Chief? Then make me stop." 

Surrender came with his guide gasping for merciful air. Jim nibbled even harder, focusing on the pulse point, the life beat counting time to his own twitching and swollen cock. His hands slid down and pushed open his young lover's robe, exposing a furry chest spiked with Blair-scented sweat. The two men fell back together, Jim's mouth now exploring downward, trailing voracious kisses hard nub to hard nub. The nipple ring caught and pulled with a click of teeth and tongue, Blair's ragged breathing hissing in response. 

"Jim, man, get those shorts off. I need you in me." 

Shifting with athletic grace, Jim slipped off the boxers with one fluid motion, using only one hand. All the while he stayed busy teasing and slicking down the middle of Blair's burning chest. He kneeled over the squirming body, using both hands to handle the narrow hips, bringing them up to rest on the pillow. 

"No, man, I want to turn over." He struggled to flip, but stronger hands held him in place. 

"No, Chief. I need to see you. Watch you eyes dilate into black. Watch your pores open up and wash with musk and oil. I have to see your lips curl back and your neck go all tight when I'm fucking you hard in that tight ass." 

His breath hitched as Jim pressed a slicked finger into the puckered opening. "Oh, man, you've got pre-cum to spare? Damn. Oh, man." 

His eyes squeezed shut, as Jim fingered harder than before. Pumping his own hips, Blair set the rhythm and to both their surprises, his limp cock started to slowly respond. Not wanting to interrupt progress, Jim gave a mental hallelujah and continued adding fingers to his quest. 

Meanwhile, Blair wrapped a grateful fist around himself. The harder he got, the faster his hips moved, the moaning growing into a deep chest groan. "Jim, please. Enough. Do it, man, do it." 

Reaching between cushions, Jim retrieved the stash of lube and a condom. Slicking Blair even more, he then prepped his own cock before he finally eased the crown past the slippery ring. Blair's whole body trembled with the contact as Jim pushed harder, stretching out pink flesh, inching in with each stubborn short thrust. Once completely inside, he stayed still just long enough to recognize the familiar fit that occurred when his lover's body adjusted and signaled to start. Still holding his own cock, locked together with his sentinel, Blair shoved his hips and nudged to keep moving. 

Steadily, Jim worked his hips in and out, rocking the piston at the center of his universe. Fire rose form every cell while pressure gripped his muscular thighs. Trickles of sweat dripped down his chin past the jaw to his throat. While he continued a rhythmic plunging, every nerve tightened, pitting muscle against tendon and bone. Intense flashes of red and white sparked small stars and with a sudden rush of tension so bright, he jerked forward and stilled while the atoms in his life exploded into pure light. 

After a few moments he actually realized the warm, sticky flood against his belly. Blair lay quiet beneath him, his heartbeat and breathing still racing double fast, but gradually slowing. As he tried to raise up and withdraw, his guide grabbed him around the waist, ankles at his back, and yanked him down, chest to chest. 

"No, you don't. Not so fast. I'm not done yet." 

Shocked, still throbbing in the pleasant after effects of a seriously mind-blowing, deliciously good fuck, Jim groaned, "Come on, Chief." 

"I did that, thank you very much." A deep laugh tickled Jim's chest, as Blair rubbed his soaked curls against sweaty skin. "No, it's just I don't want you to go yet. I want to be here together a little while longer." 

"We stay here much longer, Chief, we may have to take a pickax to break that stuff out of your chest hair by morning." 

"Funny, man. Make jokes, but you just don't know." 

His voice suddenly soft, Jim relaxed his muscles and let a little more of his weight settle across the foundation of his guide. "What don't I know, Blair?" 

"How much this means to me, and I'm not just talking about the way cool job you just did to get me off for the first time in like forever. I'm talking about this." 

"What this?" 

"I'm talking about the fact that you have the balls to hang in here and put up with me no matter how much of an ass I am sometimes." 

"But, Blair honey, you're my ass and you always will be. Haven't you figured that out yet?" 

Gazing up into sex-sated, sleepy blue eyes, Blair Sandburg grinned the goofiest of grins and shifted his hips. The slightest rumble of protest vibrated his lungs while he hugged his lover even tighter, his arms and legs wrapped like ivy around an oak. 

"Oh, I figured it out all right, man. You're like really hard to miss here." 

Jim smiled, proud and pleased with himself, and then closed his eyes, still surrounded by his guide. He let his mind drift to the sound of a comforting heartbeat so close to his own that it soothed him like a mothers' lullaby. 

In the far reaches of his mind he envisioned a distant jungle where destiny played hide and seek with the sun and the great spirit cat swallowed the moon and rolled it, savoring its grit, on an ancient tongue. The guide and sentinel followed a path between the solar heat and lunar dust. One shielded from blindness, while the second searched for the light. Bonded by fate, the two men danced at the edge of eternity. Forever holding the other, they juggled the gifts of both faith and infinite trust. Shaman and Watchman only survived the long journey by walking together, the trial-tempered link strong between them. 

The End 


End file.
